Spark of interest

5 12 2009

OK, so I’ve been thinking a lot over the past week about how hobbies and interest wax and wane over time. This weekend I should be at a martial arts training thing. Now, it’s not that I don’t want to go exactly. I do. I know if I was there, then I’d have a great time. However (I thought this would write easier than ‘but’….turns out it’s the same thing!). I’m tired. The last time I properly was training I became ill. Then I had a bit of a knock to my complete lack of confidence. Et voila. I no longer feel the same spark I used to. I have no doubt that with rest, and a bit of a break, that spark will return. But for now, I just want to crawl into bed and not get out.

Which is partly why I’m so happy about discovering magic. Now, I’m not exactly new to this world, but the last time I really took it seriously, I was just a kid. I’ve kept a toe in the water, but it’s only really since visiting a wonderful magic shop with some lovely forum people šŸ™‚ that I’ve felt that neccessary enthusiasm to actually go somewhere with it. These last few weeks, I’ve loved nothing better than curling up with whatever book’s just landed on my doorstep, and just absorbing. No pressure (yet), just learning and, more importantly, enjoying. I suppose my intention for writing this comes from a need to understand my thoughts in this.

I am glad I took this time to not learn some of this. In many ways, learning about magic takes something away. It reduces something impossible, something magical, into a trick. In some ways I feel saddened by this. It is a part of the lonliness that comes with the teratory. Yet the struggle to keep the magic alive for others is what drives people to magic. So the excitement returns, anew. And what an amazing thing that is!





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